What is out on the lawn all summer?%Paddy O'Furniture.
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?%A sham rock.
What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?%A sham rock.
When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?%When it's a French fry.
What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?%Some horse is going barefoot.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Irish! Irish who?%Irish you a Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?%He couldn't afford airfare.
How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?%He's Dublin over with laughter!
What does Ireland have more of than any other country?%Irishmen!
Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?%Because they're always a little short.
What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?%A Jolly Green Giant
Which leprechaun wears the biggest shoes?%The one with the biggest feet!
Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover?%Because you don't want to press your luck!
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover?%A rash of good luck.
What kind of music does a leprechaun band play?%Shamrock 'n' roll!
What do you call a clumsy Irish dance?%A jig mistake!
What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?%He gets wet!
What kind of bow can't be tied?%A rainbow.
Where will you always find gold?%In the dictionary.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?%Because regular rocks are too heavy.
Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day?%Because they're always wearing green.
Why don't women want to get engaged on St Patrick's Day?%Beause they don't want to get a sham rock.