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4d27; Well, no wonder we haven't been able to leave. Someone left this stupid thing on!; Break of Day by Nate Fakes
4d28; Keep your best friend close but the squirrels closer.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
4d29; Well! The lazy susan was certainly a delightful addition!; Strange Brew by John Deering
4d30; This was definitely no amateur job. They only took the most expensive cuts.; Rubes by Leigh Rubin
5d1; I'm sorry, but once again that's not in the form of a question.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
5d2; Barry's friends and co-workers at the morgue give him the mother of all surprise parties.; Close to Home by John McPherson
5d3; He's never late for meals. Meals are late for him!; Marmaduke by Brad Anderson
5d4; Hey, I like a juicy fly as much as the next guy, Doug. I just worry about where they've been.; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
5d5; You really can be quite striking at times.; Brevity by Dan Thompson
5d6; This doesn't seem to be working correctly.; Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler
5d7; Don't worry, I don't charge my patients during the play-offs.; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
5d8; But seriously... you, in the blue, laugh harder.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
5d9; You know, there is an easier way.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
5d10; The key to meditation is learning to stay.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
5d11; Dang. It's covered with bark again. We should probably stop ordering over the phone.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
5d12; I'll go out on a limb here and guess you won't want any texting plan.; Strange Brew by John Deering
5d13; I told you - anything but "Cheese." It ruins every picture; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
5d14; Sure, Alberk, it's big enough... it's just so dated.; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
5d15; I already know the answer, but as a courtesy, I have to ask. Are you going to finish those fries?; Rubes by Leigh Rubin
5d16; So, what you're saying is, you stapled your hand to the safety report.; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
5d17; I used to fetch his newspaper. Now I just forward articles I know he'll agree with.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
5d18; Hmmm, I finished off the Green Goblin, but my Spidey sense is still tingling.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
5d19; This is the new Ford Tortoise. No matter how fast you drive, it sends a subliminal message to state troopers that you're going slowly.; Close to Home by John McPherson
5d20; The most exciting action of that game was getting Marmaduke off the field.; Marmaduke by Brad Anderson
5d21; Hey, those guys keep texting us. Go see what they want.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
5d22; So, you use the dog's name as your password?; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
5d23; I liked "Jaws" too, Phil - but it's impossible to sneak up on people when you do that.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
5d24; No, seriously, how do we know he's just sleeping if we don't take a bite?; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
5d25; He's a good white. He's not really what I'd call a great white.; Strange Brew by John Deering
5d26; All right, now on the touch screen, hit "Menu," then "Doors," then "Unlock."; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
5d27; How much more do you want it cooked?; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
5d28; You have to train them before they train you.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
5d29; Wait, wait, game off... just... just give me a minute to catch my breath.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
5d30; Yes, but you'll be eating them with a different mouth than I do.; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
5d31; I don't think the new electric fence is engendering the fear we intended.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
5d26; All right, now on the touch screen, hit "Menu," then "Doors," then "Unlock."; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
5d27; How much more do you want it cooked?; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
5d28; You have to train them before they train you.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
5d29; Wait, wait, game off... just... just give me a minute to catch my breath.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
5d30; Yes, but you'll be eating them with a different mouth than I do.; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
5d31; I don't think the new electric fence is engendering the fear we intended.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek6d1; Oh, did I forget to say "Clear"?; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
6d1; Oh, did I forget to say "Clear"?; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
6d2; Mommy, which would be worse - if my cap blew away, or if I just forgot where I put it?; Family Circus by Bil and Jeff Keane
6d3; You feed him, Gorak. I'm really more of a dog person!; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
6d4; Wait, take one with my phone, too!; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
6d5; Has it been seven years? Seems like just yesterday.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
6d6; My dad said to listen to my conscience. My conscience says, 'Go for it!'; Dennis the Menace by Hank Ketcham
6d7; I'm Justin, your waiter, and you'll be trying to get my attention for the rest of the evening.; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
6d8; It was awfully nice of the cat to buy these drinks for us.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
6d9; I wonder if they're gonna build ME one when I die?; Brevity by Dan Thompson
6d10; Once a year, Uncle Karl would entertain the kids with his classic large intestine impression.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
6d11; True, it isn't 'rocket science,' Ted. But it's still really difficult.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
6d12; Don't pay any attention to him... his social networking relies on his sense of smell.; Marmaduke by Brad Anderson
6d13; Sure, it was a long hike, Conway, but you gotta admit, he IS a wise cracker.; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
6d14; Sir, we have reason to believe that our adversaries actually have no weapons whatsoever.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
6d15; I'm not sure what they're doing, but they haven't moved in hours.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
6d16; Do you take a lot of selfies?; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
6d17; But you told me to behave... you didn't say how!; Dennis the Menace by Hank Ketcham
6d18; Oh, heavens, this little hat makes me look ridiculous.; Brevity by Dan Thompson
6d19; I looked at that couch online weeks ago and it's been following me ever since!; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
6d20; It took 36 years to drag this over here, and now you say I got the wrong one?!; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
6d21; I never should have left the circus.; Brevity by Dan Thompson
6d22; I guess laughter wasn't the best medicine.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
6d23; Play whatever you want. I'll just follow.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
6d24; It's time we face reality, my friends... We're not exactly rocket scientists.; The Far Side by Gary Larson
6d25; OK, if she acts like she wants out again, she wants out again!; Strange Brew by John Deering
6d26; Seriously? This is the best picture you have of yourself?; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
6d27; Come to think of it, Dan, it's been six rounds, and I have yet to see a single punch thrown.; Chuckle Bros. by Brian and Ron Boychuk
6d28; What are you wearing?! That's it! You're not going out until you're 17!; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
6d29; Just one more episode, then I hibernate.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
6d30; You know there was a time there about 40,000 years ago, when we could have completely wiped them out if we had put our minds to it.; Brevity by Dan Thompson
7d1; And this is why I hate following our flight path on the little screen on the back of the seat.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
7d2; Say... what's a mountain goat doing way up here in a cloud bank?; The Far Side by Gary Larson
7d3; I find doing actual work helps to pass the time.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
7d4; What've I said about playing with your food?; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
7d5; Don't laugh when they talk. It's shift change at the helium bottling plant.; Strange Brew by John Deering
7d6; Please, Mr. Coffee was my father's name. Call me Chad.; Brevity by Dan Thompson
7d7; I don't care if you were a blogger. Just mark the days like the rest of us.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
7d8; I really don't understand the point of this stylus...; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
7d9; Where can I find the nearest treat?; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
7d10; Help me get it into the tartar sauce!; Brevity by Dan Thompson
7d11; I've seen this before. He tried to remember his 100th different password.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
7d12; Suddenly, Bobby felt very alone in the world.; The Far Side by Gary Larson
7d13; How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?; Bliss by Harry Bliss
7d14; I wish you had come to me sooner.; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
7d15; Okay... What the heck IS this thing, and who threw it??; Strange Brew by John Deering
7d16; I. Am. So. Embarrassed! How long have I been sitting across from him with that stuck in my teeth?; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
7d17; Wow, you really straightened up the place while I was gone.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
7d18; Have you seen the one where the cats won't let the dogs pass? Hilarious!; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
7d19; I'm not gonna lie to you... They all seem geometrically identical to me.; Brevity by Dan Thompson
7d20; Don't be uncouth. The cheese is there as a holder.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
7d21; And now Edgar's gone.... Something's going on around here.; The Far Side by Gary Larson
7d22; After the cow's stellar performance, the high jump was quietly retired from all future track and field competitions.; Rubes by Leigh Rubin
7d23; Oh, those aren't MY diplomas - they're my medical malpractice attorney's.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
7d24; No, you misunderstood me. I said I could use acupuncture needles to SIMULATE hair growth, not STIMULATE hair growth.; Close to Home by John McPherson
7d25; We GOTTA figure out how to shut this thing off.; Strange Brew by John Deering
7d26; Yes, I know we're hyenas - but sometimes I just don't feel like laughing, Kate.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
7d27; When the huffing and puffing didn't work, I talked him into a low interest subprime mortgage.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
7d28; Did you find everything okay?; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
7d29; Are you guys still watching the tapestry? Why don't you go outside, it's such a nice day!; Brevity by Dan Thompson
7d30; ...and it says this unique predator has unusual markings designed to deceive its prey.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
7d31; Class, you're completely ignoring me! Nice work!; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
8d1; Do you remember anything else after you heard the word 'timber'?; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
8d2; Ha, ha. I'm just messing with you. Ha, ha. Don't bless all our reps in Congress.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
8d3; We've found that Mr. Boppy Head is much more effective than the $10,000 stress management program we did last year.; Close to Home by John McPherson
8d4; I know it sounds crazy, but I think we could increase our ratings if they wore their underwear on the OUTSIDE of their costumes.; Chuckle Bros. by Brian and Ron Boychuk
8d5; So... Why are my clothes invisible, too?; Strange Brew by John Deering
8d6; I know we're migratory birds, Harold... But do we really have to do this EVERY spring and fall?; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
8d7; I have my top 100 books. All I need is an outlet.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
8d8; Whoa, you're right! I didn't know we even SOLD dragon insurance.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
8d9; The figures show your site had an average viewership of one person a month.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
8d10; My only advice, Mr. Gumby, is that you should try to use the right side of your brain a bit more...; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
8d11; Maybe Noah just thinks we're an extra special species.; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
8d12; Sit! Heel! Stay! Give me the darn ball!!; Bliss by Harry Bliss
8d13; What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?; Brevity by Dan Thompson
8d14; How many times do I have to tell you NOT to play with your food?!; Committed by Michael Fry
8d15; I don't know what it is, but they keep cleaning it.; Strange Brew by John Deering
8d16; Tiggles, you go out, you come in, you go out then in, over and over. What's behind this? Is this your way of exerting power over Jane?; Close to Home by John McPherson
8d17; C'mon guys. We'll never get this done if you don't stop running around!; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
8d18; The minister's a sub, so we're all going to sing the wrong hymn... Pass it on...; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
8d19; No, they're just stacked. It doesn't mean that all but the bottom one get recyc... Oh never mind. Put them over there.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
8d20; He's turned into so much more than just a mouser...; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
8d21; We know you can't read music, Duffy, but seriously, you must know you're howling in D-flat!; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
8d22; This is the kind of stuff that really makes me question Western medicine.; Close to Home by John McPherson
8d23; Harriet, you should really switch plans if they charge you for roaming. I mean, we're buffalo - that's what we do.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
8d24; All we need is one viral video and we're set.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
8d25; It's a long way down here. Could you just email me when I have any mail?; Strange Brew by John Deering
8d26; All the demons chipped in to get Satan a gag gift for his birthday.; Brevity by Guy and Rodd
8d27; Sorry, I don't deal with people anymore.; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
8d28; I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
8d29; OK, whose bright idea was it to do a direct marketing campaign via email?; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
8d30; It's frustrating getting to enjoy all the different features and then the phone begins to act like a phone.; Compu-toon by Charles Boyce
8d31; Don't worry about the other kids making fun of your tiny arms, son... in another month you'll be eating them.; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel