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8d24; All we need is one viral video and we're set.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
8d25; It's a long way down here. Could you just email me when I have any mail?; Strange Brew by John Deering
8d26; All the demons chipped in to get Satan a gag gift for his birthday.; Brevity by Guy and Rodd
8d27; Sorry, I don't deal with people anymore.; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
8d28; I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
8d29; OK, whose bright idea was it to do a direct marketing campaign via email?; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
8d30; It's frustrating getting to enjoy all the different features and then the phone begins to act like a phone.; Compu-toon by Charles Boyce
8d31; Don't worry about the other kids making fun of your tiny arms, son... in another month you'll be eating them.; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
9d1; The groom is a cable guy and said he would be here sometime between 10 a.m. and 5 p.m.; Close to Home by John McPherson
9d2; No reason to hang your heads. We went out there and played our game. But in the end, the turnovers cost us, like they always do... Mostly cherry.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
9d3; So, what are you doing after this?; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
9d4; OK, if there's no new business, I move we adjourn and check under the table for crumbs.; Strange Brew by John Deering
9d5; We're downsizing the R&D department and replacing it with Google.; Bottomliners by Eric and Bill Teitelbaum
9d6; There's a wait... Everyone wants a window.; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
9d7; Hey, kid, I think your flea collar has expired.; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
9d8; I guess there are some things we're not intended to understand.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
9d9d; Don't look now, J.T., but I think they're grooming the new guy to take your place...; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
9d10; If you try and text while driving it blows up.; Compu-toon by Charles Boyce
9d11; Security's left the building? Then who's guarding this henhouse?!; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
9d12; Uh-uh-uhhh, Nurse Hathaway... SIMON didn't say, "Hand me the defibrillator."; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
9d13; I keep my phone on me in case I need to avoid talking to someone.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
9d14; Shakespeare would be OK, but I'd prefer they come up with a good research grant proposal.; Strange Brew by John Deering
9d15; I decided not to wear it in a pony tail.; Break of Day by Nate Fakes
9d16; The doctor said my salt intake was too high so I switched to lakes.; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
9d17; My agent would like to discuss a signing bonus.; The Flying McCoys by Glenn and Gary McCoy
9d18; But I just figured out how to use the DVD player.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
9d19; Why are you telling me all this? We don't need any more.; Cornered by Mike Baldwin
9d20; Maybe the free Wi-Fi wasn't such a good idea.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
9d21; Isn't it odd that we always get an elevator to ourselves.; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
9d22; I really don't think I need a GPS to find the school I'm going to. I can see the flagpole from here.; Compu-toon by Charles Boyce
9d23; That's it - your best skill is wishful thinking?; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
9d24; I know we're months behind schedule, sir, but it's the darndest thing - every time we complete a section, it disappears.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
9d25; Our bombers will drop 50,000 PlayStations and TVs on the insurgents, totally distracting them and thereby quelling the uprising.; Close to Home by John McPherson
9d26; Yeah, this tablet thing could be really big.; Strange Brew by John Deering
9d27; Last time I bit on one of these my identity got stolen.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
9d28; Wait a minute... What am I doing? I can't count yet.; Break of Day by Nate Fakes
9d29d; You can always tell the portrait artists from the landscape artists...; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
9d30; Here - it'll help our insanity plea if you slip this on before we go in.; The Flying McCoys by Glenn and Gary McCoy
10d1; They're born into captivity. It's all they know.; Cornered by Mike Baldwin
10d2; OK, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?; Bliss by Harry Bliss
10d3; Sure, they take a little getting used to, but they're half the price.; Rubes by Leigh Rubin
10d4; Lansky, come settle an argument... Is this a black hole or a dark blue hole?; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
10d5; Next time you do that, you're fired!; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
10d6; I am not going to bully you this year, but I might Photoshop you.; Compu-toon by Charles Boyce
10d7; You dropped it! Okay, move over. It's my turn!; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
10d8; Gotta go now, Gilda. Time to get the little monsters in bed.; Strange Brew by John Deering
10d9; It looks like your choices are politician, mortgage broker or coffee table.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
10d10; Man! Every time I try to enjoy a nice day on the beach, they push me back in!; Break of Day by Nate Fakes
10d11; And I'll keep raising the bar until someone invents a better business metaphor.; Cornered by Mike Baldwin
10d12; Can I turn off the game and set the table? Ha, ha! Oh, honey, you are hilarious!; Bliss by Harry Bliss
10d13; Yes, I'm well acquainted with the 'no biting the hand' rule. But show me where it says anything about the neck.; Rubes by Leigh Rubin
10d14; ...You know, this would be really good deep-fried.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
10d15; ...so we agree on salary cuts for everyone except the members of this committee.; Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart
10d16; The good news is it's reversible... the bad news it's even bigger on the other side.; Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel
10d17; I'll be ready in a minute. I'm still putting in my contact lenses.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
10d18; No. I'm sorry. Timmy can't talk right now.; The Flying McCoys by Glenn and Gary McCoy
10d19; See? It's the bad cholesterol you have to be afraid of.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
10d20; I'm beginning to think this is rigged!; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
10d21; There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?; Cornered by Mike Baldwin
10d22; What did I come in here for again?; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
10d23; Son, it looks like our next cattle-driving lesson will be on braking under emergency situations.; Rubes by Leigh Rubin
10d24; It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
10d25; I think we can all agree that Larry wasn't a good fit.; Bliss by Harry Bliss
10d26; Today's film is on the gingerbread reproductive system. If I hear any giggling, I'll turn the projector off.; The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn
10d27; You should treat yourself more often. But don't take my word for it, ask any good salesperson.; Cornered by Mike Baldwin
10d28; That's the first time anyone's asked to be set free as their last request.; The Flying McCoys by Glenn and Gary McCoy
10d29; There's nothing wrong with your new widescreen TV, but you might want to take those things off your heads.; Loose Parts by Dave Blazek
10d30; Check it out... I think I found Ursa Major.; Break of Day by Nate Fakes
10d31; Remember the time you made me laugh so hard, blood shot out of my nose?; Bliss by Harry Bliss
11d1; Cody, come to bed or you'll be at it all night!; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
11d2; Oh great, I brought the wrong file.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
11d3; Sorry, I didn't mean to fly off the handle like that.; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
11d4; ...and while I didn't notice what Jesus looked like, here is a description of the sandwich he was holding...; Inherit the Mirth by Cuyler Black
11d5; Before you two tee off, however, I must explain our playoff rules, as they differ somewhat from 'sudden death' rules in other golf tournaments.; In the Bleachers by Steve Moore
11d6; I can't explain now, but don't take your jacket off at work.; Herman by Jim Unger
11d7; Well, I didn't KNOW you had a coupon for woolly mammoth...; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
11d8; Hey, THAT little piggy went to Disneyland.; Strange Brew by John Deering
11d9; Oh, I'm sorry! I thought you were someone else.; Break of Day by Nate Fakes
11d10; Why do I get the feeling we're going to regret this?; Bliss by Harry Bliss
11d11; It shouldn't take too long to track him down... Apparently, he has only escaped into a good book.; Rubes by Leigh Rubin
11d12; Just one more episode, then I hibernate.; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
11d13; Ribbon! Wrapping paper! A box to sit in! You guys are the best!; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
11d14; What are those? We heard you were bringing us ten condiments.; Inherit the Mirth by Cuyler Black
11d15; Yeah, it's stuck. You try the Heimlich and I'll go find another ball, just in case.; In the Bleachers by Steve Moore
11d16; I'd like to borrow just enough to get myself out of debt.; Herman by Jim Unger
11d17; Actually, Bob, we'd prefer it if you'd wear the sign on the outside of your clothes...; Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
11d18; Bad news, people. Nobody's buying our sales charts...; Strange Brew by John Deering
11d19; Well, it looks like another slow day.; Break of Day by Nate Fakes
11d20; With the benefit of hindsight, I'd say no, Ed, it wasn't 'funny' letting him steer the boat!; Bliss by Harry Bliss
11d21; Relax, the children are perfectly safe. I removed the legs... The kids don't know the difference.; Rubes by Leigh Rubin
11d22; You set the browser so it won't accept cookies? What were you thinking?!; Off the Mark by Mark Parisi
11d23; I'll never forget when he was itsy bitsy and got stuck in the water spout.; Bizarro by Dan Piraro
11d24; I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may update your Facebook status.; Inherit the Mirth by Cuyler Black
11d25; Something's different... Did you lose weight?; Half Full by Maria Scrivan
11d26; We'll take you off the vitamins for a couple of days.; Herman by Jim Unger
11d27; This waiting room is a powder keg.; Heathcliff by George Gately
11d28; I just regret all the people I stepped on on the way to the top.; Strange Brew by John Deering
11d29; Look, Bob! That rabbit retrieved your ball!!; In the Bleachers by Steve Moore
11d30; What's with all the cat links in your search history?!; Bliss by Harry Bliss