tuna - tune a/What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?/You can't tuna fish.
nun - none/How many members of a convent does it take to change a light bulb?/Nun.
knight - night/What did the chess piece say before going to bed?/Knight knight.
ewe - you/What does a sheep's Valentine card say?/I love ewe.
red - read/What's a librarian's favorite color?/Red.
my newt - minute/Why do you call your lizard Tiny?/Because he's my newt.
toad - towed/Why didn't the amphibian drive its car home?/Because it was toad.
a head - ahead/Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?/The lettuce was a head.
catsup - catch up/Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?/The tomato couldn't catsup.
lettuce - let us/What did the bacon say to the tomato?/Lettuce get together.
reigned - rained/Why is England the wettest country?/Because kings and queens have reigned there for many years.
arrrrr - are/Why are pirates called pirates?/Because they arrrrr.
cell phone - cellphone/What do prisoners use to call each other?/Cell phones.
bagel - bay gull/Why do seagulls fly over the sea?/Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.
C - sea/Why was the student's report card wet?/It was below C level.
nacho - not your/What do you call cheese that is not yours?/Nacho cheese!
cents - sense/What did the penny say to the other penny?/We make perfect cents.
flood light - floodlight/What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?/Flood lights.
overtime - over time/Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?/Because he wanted to work overtime.
in Seine - insane/What do you call somebody who jumps off a bridge in Paris?/In Seine.
inverse - in verse/How does a backwards poet write?/Inverse.
cantaloupe - can't elope/Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?/Because they cantaloupe.
sour puss - sourpuss/What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?/A sour puss.
firecracker - fire cracker/What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?/Firecrackers!
short cut - shortcut/How did the barber win the race?/He knew a short cut.
bison - bye son/What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off for school?/Bison.
eye - I (the letter)/What do you call a fish with no eyes?/A fsh.
eyes - I's/What has four eyes but no face?/Mississippi.
ten tickle - tentacle/How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?/Ten tickles.
ajar - a jar/When is a door not a door?/When it's ajar.
horse - hoarse/Why did the girl give her pony cough syrup?/It was a little horse.
mussels - muscles/What are the strongest creatures in the ocean?/Mussels.
four - for/What does a clock do when it's hungry?/It goes back four seconds.
no bell - Nobel/What did the inventor of the door knocker win?/The no bell prize.
Sundae - Sunday/Where do you learn to make ice cream?/Sundae school.
wrecks - Rex/What do you call cars that have been driven by dinosaurs?/Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
address - a dress/What does a house have to wear?/Address.
Chile - chilly/What country makes you shiver?/Chile.
cell - sell/What do bees do with their honey?/They cell it.
cartoon - car tune/What do you call a song sung in an automobile?/A cartoon.
carnation - car nation/What do you call a country where everyone has a red car?/A red carnation.
seesaw - sea saw/How do you cut an ocean in half?/With a seesaw.
chestnut - chess nut/Why did the tree not want to play checkers?/Because it was a chestnut.
paws - pause/How do dogs stop a video?/By hitting the paws button.
knight - night/When do baseball players wear armor?/At knight games.
tocking - talking/Why was the clock sent to the principal's office?/Because it was tocking too much.
ate - eight/Why is six afraid of seven?/Because seven ate nine.
panes - pains/Why did the house go to the doctor?/Because it had window panes.
eggroll - egg roll/How do you make an eggroll?/Push it.
toe - tow/What do you do when you can't move your big toe?/Call a big toe truck.
fungi - gun guy/Why does the mushroom get invited to all the best parties?/He's a fungi.
ant - aunt/Why was the ant so confused?/Because all of its uncles were ants.
week days - weak days/What are the strongest days of the week?/Saturday and Sunday, because the rest are weekdays.
pare - pear/How do you turn an apple into a different fruit?/Pare it.
currants - currents/What kind of fruit do you find in power lines?/Currants.
currants - currents/What's the new power fruit?/Currants.
mountaineers - mountain ears/How do mountains hear?/With mountaineers.
sea - see/What did the beach say when the tide came in?/Long time, no sea.