Jokes and Riddles Letter by Letter Hangman-style Game

Dad Jokes & Riddles Guessing Game

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Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works better! Think about what you brush your teeth with. But does your left hand have bristles? What do you call a beehive with no exit? Unbelievable! Listen to this - with no exit, the bees can't leave. No exit could be interpreted as not leaveable. What happened when the world's tongue-twister champion got arrested? They gave him a tough sentence. It's hard to say exactly how long he'll have to serve. They gave him more than an easy phrase. Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well! His eyesight wasn't what it used to be? Can you see that well? Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of jumping a hurdle? He got over it! He overcame his fear? Why are elevator jokes so good? They work on many levels! Keep in mind that elevators move from one level to another. Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero! To practice archery you have to have a bow and ... What kind of peppers are we talking about? What has five toes, a heel, and isn’t your foot? My foot It's not always all about you, you know. Whose is it? What’s the astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The spacebar It's always nice to relax and have a drink, even in outer space. It's on the keyboard. Where do boats go when they feel sick? To the boat doc Well, who do you go see when you feel sick? Horses go to a horse doctor. What's a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse What is a pony, anyway? You could say it's a little husky, but that sounds like a dog. What’s brown and sticky? A stick If I asked you, what's brown and chocolatey, what would you say? Why does Peter Pan always fly? He Neverlands. Think about where he lives. What’s the least spoken language? Sign language In fact, it's not spoken at all. It's seen. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up alone? Because it was two tired. What defines a bicycle? How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. So he styles it when he's in the Earth's shadow? What happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got toad. Was that because it didn't exactly toe the line? What's like a frog and also what could have happened to an illegally parked car? What did the pirate dad say on his 80th birthday? "Aye Matey." And on his 70th he said, "I'm seventy." What would the Terminator be called when he retires? The Exterminator Maybe he could get an Orkin franchise to keep him busy. A retired cop is called an ex-cop. What do you call a gnat with a sore throat? A hoarse fly. That sore throat makes it hard to talk. What do lawyers wear to work? Law suits No leisure suits for them. Why are your pupils the last part of your body to stop working when you die? Because they dilate. And they do this when it's pretty dark. Who were the greenest American presidents? The Bushes Although possibly in name only. And they were also the second set of father son presidents in American history. What did the dad say when his kid asked if he could explain what a solar eclipse was? No sun Pretty succinct, but that's basically what you see if it's a total eclipse. What's Forrest Gump's computer password? 1Forrest1 It does have at least one upper case character and digit, and it's easy to remember. It's kind of a running joke. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers You don't even have to lace them up. And they're a place for a couple of pennies. How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? He was shocked! I'd be pretty surprised too! What do rabbits need after getting caught in the rain? A hare dryer They could use a good blow dry. What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon account? Prime mates That free one-day delivery is great - to say nothing of the videos. Actually a human couple could be called the same. What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison! They are very closely related, after all. He could have just said bye, but this is funnier. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. It would appear so. Apparently so. What did the duck say to the bartender after ordering a shot? Put it on my bill. He was running a tab or trying to keep it balanced. How do you make an eggroll? You push it. As seen every Easter on the South Lawn of the White House How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them. Have you ever seen an apple that didn't grow on a tree? How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut. How an Almond Joy might behave, as opposed to a Mounds. What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault! Well, it certainly wasn't mine. Don't blame me! What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener. Well, certainly not "The Litte Can Opener That Could" What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck The Edmund Fitzgerald on edge? Why did the coach pound on the vending machine? To get his quarter back He needed some passes? He didn't want to lose 25 cents? Why shouldn’t you trust trees? They seem shady. But that's a good thing on a hot sunny day. What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe! Bless you! Gesundheit! What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court? Annette Rhymes with, and is the cause of, a let What's in the middle of a tennis court? How do you organize a solar system party? You planet. And I'm Mercury or Jupiter? Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe. But if they could, it would save a lot of planning and expense. In fact, they can't run away for any reason. What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Nacho cheese. If it doesn't belong to you, it's not your cheese. The kind of cheese that tops tortilla chips What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing. They just waved. It's kind of a trick question, since oceans can't walk. When you look at the ocean, you don't see talk, you see what? If they can't say hello, what can they do instead?



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