How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball?; He turns into a bat every night.
How does a girl vampire flirt?; She bats her eyes.
Why can't Dracula play baseball?; He lost his bat.
Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?; Their bats flew away.
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?; I'd like a beer and a mop!
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?; I'm bone to be wild.
Why does Dracula have so few friends?; He's a pain in the neck.
What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?; It's a pain in the neck.
Why are so few ghosts arrested?; It's hard to pin anything on them.
Why do mummies make excellent spies?; They're good at keeping things under wraps.
Why don't mummies take vacations?; They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?; They're afraid of flying off the handle!
What's the difference between a witch and the letters M, A, K, E and S?; One makes spells, the other spells MAKES.
Why was the mummy so tense?; He was all wound up.
Why do mummies have so few friends?; They're too wrapped up in themselves.
Why do witches fly on brooms?; Vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
Who wins when a ghost and a zombie race?; Nobody, they're dead even.
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?; You really hope it's Halloween.
Why are ghosts such bad liars?; You can see right through them.
Why aren't there any famous skeletons?; They're a bunch of no bodies.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?; He didn't have the guts.
How do you make a witch itch?; Take away her w!
What did one casket say to the other casket?; Is that you coffin?
What did the ghost teacher say to her class?; Watch the board and I'll go through it again.
Why don't skeletons play music in church?; They have no organs.
When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?; That would be when you're a mouse!
Why don't ghosts like parties?; They have no body to dance with!
Why are there fences around cemeteries?; People are dying to get in.
Why is a skeleton so mean?; He doesn't have a heart.